Monday, August 24, 2015

Serbia Adventures

Serbia! I went. It was great. And different. Let me tell you about it.

Things I didn't know about Serbia, and you maybe didn't either:

- The food is delicious. And cheap. And good quality. And what's better than delicious cheap food of good quality, NOTHING, I tell you.

Ok, this doesn't look delicious at all. But it's a massive amalgamation of deep fried dough and bacon and cheese, so. . .

- The people are super nice. Whenever they talk on the phone they sound like they want to kill the person on the other end, but actually that's their friendly voice.

In all seriousness, though, everyone I met was lovely. It's almost like they're a bit worried whether they'll make a good impression and be hospitable enough, especially if you're American. Which. . .  interesting. I know very little about Serbia or its history, and I heard maaaaaaaany different opinions on the NATO's bombings of Serbia and the Kosovo secession and other divisive topics from the locals. But regardless of what happened, they don't have many reasons to like America, and I still did not meet a single unkind person on this trip.

David, in the middle, was our tour guide extraordinaire. The guy on the right is Aleksander, and the one in the beanie is MEH, and we are standing on the castle hill in Belgrade.
- Novi Sad is nicer than Begrade. I thought. When we first drove into the city, there were Roma bicycling along with vast quantities of cardboard, and there was also lots of trash, and flea-markets, and shanty towns, but then we got to this part:

It's so pyootiful.

- Apparently the name "Stefan" is a very popular name in Serbia, which made me all like:

- People get married wearing crowns! We stumbled across this wedding while visiting the big cathedral in Belgrade. I was like, "Ooooh, a royal wedding!"

Royalty, in the process of being wedded.
But nay, good friend. Everyone is a king and queen on their wedding day. Or something. David explained it to me. He also said that Serbian weddings involve walking in circles and drinking wine from a ceremonial goblet. They can also last up to six hours. Ah wud dah.

- Speaking of royalty: Serbia does have a king. He lives in Chicago.

- Have you ever wondered how a brogue looks when cut neatly in half? No? Well, now you don't even have to not-wonder anymore:

Ta-da! Extra breathable.
- There are bombed-out buildings. Here's a bombed radio tower we went to see.

- Serbians lurrrrrv Russia. David asked me what I thought of Putin and I may have expressed some slight distaste toward him, which seemed to confuse David a lot. Oops.

- Police will sometimes pick up foreign-plated cars with A CRANE and SPIRIT THEM AWAY, because foreigners can be charged heftier fines. Our car narrowly escaped this fate thanks to some dramatic gesticulating and 20 euros.

David being like, "No, no, we were just next door, PUH-LEASE, PUT DOWN OUR CAR, AND WE SHALL DIMINISH AND GO INTO THE WEST!"
- We found an abandoned railroad track and followed it for no reason. After a while we were told that the track was not abandoned and a train was coming. We fled.

Blue suede shoooooes, cat, dog, something-something, don't step on them. . .

David Quotes

I was standing in the middle of the street, like the dumb tourist I was, about to be run over by a tractor, and David was like: "HEY, MOVE!" And then very quietly and politely: "Please."

Upon passing a cop along the side of the road, driving well over 20 kilometers above the speed limit: "On Fridays, police are sleeping probably."

So that was that! I hope everyone is having a maaaaaahvelous last bit of summer.

Bye. :)



    Also, I loved this post. Didn't know anything about Serbia before this. I would eat that deep-fried dough and cheese and bacon like crazy.

    1. *I* wouldn't have even gotten the blue shoes reference a couple months ago, but have since been enlightened. xD

      Also, thank you! IT WAS DELICIOUS

  2. I need that deep-fried dough thing now. *packs up and moves to Serbia* Ohmahgersh, though, these people sound super interesting. I'm not that familiar with Serbia, so this was all new to me. And, getting married in crowns. Do they have to purchase crowns for the occasions, or does the priest/bishop/whoever marries them provide crowns? Are they real gold or just meant to look like real gold?

    1. THEY WERE. AND IT WAS. Also, hmm, all valid questions. I didn't think to ask. I kind of wonder if the church has them and lends them out for the occasion? Otherwise... that would be a lot of crowns.

  3. Ah! The car made me LOL! Florian standing there indignant. Hilarious.

    And the beany still? Really?

    1. BEANIES FOREVAAAAAAAH. :DDD I like my beanies.

      Also, yeah, it was a pretty funny situation, and less scary than I would have thought, seeing as how a crane was about to a take our car away. We survived! :)

  4. Hilarious post, Etienne. Begrade needs an L, though, and you should know better than to be critical of Putin.
    I need to go look of the lyrics to Blue Suede Shoes now, as I assume that's what you're talking about...