Serbia! I went. It was great. And different. Let me tell you about it.
Things I didn't know about Serbia, and you maybe didn't either:
- The food is delicious. And cheap. And good quality. And what's better than delicious cheap food of good quality, NOTHING, I tell you.
|Ok, this doesn't look delicious at all. But it's a massive amalgamation of deep fried dough and bacon and cheese, so. . .|
- The people are super nice. Whenever they talk on the phone they sound like they want to kill the person on the other end, but actually that's their friendly voice.
In all seriousness, though, everyone I met was lovely. It's almost like they're a bit worried whether they'll make a good impression and be hospitable enough, especially if you're American. Which. . . interesting. I know very little about Serbia or its history, and I heard maaaaaaaany different opinions on the NATO's bombings of Serbia and the Kosovo secession and other divisive topics from the locals. But regardless of what happened, they don't have many reasons to like America, and I still did not meet a single unkind person on this trip.
|David, in the middle, was our tour guide extraordinaire. The guy on the right is Aleksander, and the one in the beanie is MEH, and we are standing on the castle hill in Belgrade.|
|It's so pyootiful.|
- Apparently the name "Stefan" is a very popular name in Serbia, which made me all like:
- People get married wearing crowns! We stumbled across this wedding while visiting the big cathedral in Belgrade. I was like, "Ooooh, a royal wedding!"
|Royalty, in the process of being wedded.|
- Speaking of royalty: Serbia does have a king. He lives in Chicago.
- Have you ever wondered how a brogue looks when cut neatly in half? No? Well, now you don't even have to not-wonder anymore:
|Ta-da! Extra breathable.|
- Serbians lurrrrrv Russia. David asked me what I thought of Putin and I may have expressed some slight distaste toward him, which seemed to confuse David a lot. Oops.
- Police will sometimes pick up foreign-plated cars with A CRANE and SPIRIT THEM AWAY, because foreigners can be charged heftier fines. Our car narrowly escaped this fate thanks to some dramatic gesticulating and 20 euros.
|David being like, "No, no, we were just next door, PUH-LEASE, PUT DOWN OUR CAR, AND WE SHALL DIMINISH AND GO INTO THE WEST!"|
|Blue suede shoooooes, cat, dog, something-something, don't step on them. . .|
I was standing in the middle of the street, like the dumb tourist I was, about to be run over by a tractor, and David was like: "HEY, MOVE!" And then very quietly and politely: "Please."
Upon passing a cop along the side of the road, driving well over 20 kilometers above the speed limit: "On Fridays, police are sleeping probably."