Sunday, November 16, 2014

Whiny Crayons

So, THIS BLOG: it has been neglected. I've been busy having a midlife crisiiiiiiis, as one does when one is 21. My midlife crisis involves being annoyed at everything and reading lots of books and eating this amazing candy that you can only get in Germany called Lachgummi (they are so amazing, oh mah wrrd). It also means I'm only going to live until I'm 42, if I do the math? (Which. . . if I keep eating these Lachgummis seems reasonable.) I told my mom about my projected lifespan and she was like:

Anyway. I'm not going to go into detail, because I feel like everyone would be like "Shut ahhhhhp, you whiny crayon", but I'll explain a tiny bit:

2014 has been really busy.

The German editions of my books came out in Europe. I did thirty-billion interviews (I don't know if this is an exaggeration. I have entire boxes of newspaper articles), dozens of readings, was invited to the big book fairs, did talkshows and radio shows, and I had done most of these things in the US already, sometimes on a much larger scale, but they were wayyyyyy less stressy there for reasons that would fill like three more blog posts.

And the thing is, actually talking about anything negative that went along with these things will come across as really ungrateful, which I get. But I think you can be grateful for parts of things, and really not like other parts at the same time.

I do so appreciate readers. I appreciate publishers and promoters and media people who write articles about books. Most of all I appreciate people who love to read.

I do not appreciate curiosity-seekers, self-serious literary types who don't think fantasy is a legitimate genre, random strangers who come up to you and tell you they think you should dress differently / talk differently / not talk, random strangers who think your weird-fairytale-MG-books are basically a biography of your life (this kind of makes me want to slap people; it's like saying "Hey, were you starving Victorian waif growing up who never left your house until a faery-infested lady in a plum-colored dress stole the friend you've never actually talked to from across the street?" Just, no.), random strangers who ask you if your books are written by ghostwriters or your helicopter parents, or if you're actually a fake person invented by your publishers. (That would save me thousands of hours of work and anxiety, so ghostwriters, if you're reading this, come write this book for me, ja? Also, my parents are pretty much the exact opposite of helicopter parents.)

Anyway, to sum things up, I did everything under the sun that was asked of me despite rrrrreally not enjoying some of it, and while there have been some really-really-really great stuff and I think everything was a good experience in the long run, there have also been some lame stuff and now I'm just tired, and I think that's allowed.

I recently had a long conversation with some friends about the meaning of success, and whether you can actually be successful if you don't feel successful, or conversely, if you can be successful even if no one else thinks you're successful, or if you can ever be successful enough in the traditional sense to be happy. Friends were like, "I mean, you're such a whiny crayon, but do you really want to be a turtle and write books and music in obscurity?"

Being a turtle is my goal in life.
But I dunno if I actually do. It just seems like it right now, because I did a bit more than I could realistically manage. I'll get over it.

I might post the pictures I took at the Frankfurt Book Fair, but I already tweeted a bunch of them. Hmm. Also, I heard that Greenwillow/HC has started on DMP's coverrrr! Even though I'm still deep in revisions. This is exciting. :) The book is going into its third iteration right now, and the title still needs to change, and probably a million other things, but the longer I work on it the more I love it and the more I think it will end up being something I'll be really proud of. It should be out in 2016. I hope. :)

Hope everyone's well, bye!!