Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The Cynic's Word Book


Hi, peoples. :) So, about two years ago, my sister gave me a book for Christmas called The Devil's Dictionary, you know, for cheery holiday reading, and because I'm a grateful sort of person I read it last week, and mah wrrrrd. It's funny. And scathing. And also kind of bitter and bad and misanthropic at times, but it had its beginnings as an 1881 newspaper serial and folk had PROBLEMS then.

It's basically a satirical take on English words and Western civilization, and I like satire quite a lot. I like that while it might not be funny to everyone, or to me, it doesn't really care. It's supposed to make you think.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the dictionary:

ADORE, v.t. to venerate expectantly.

ARREST, v.t. to formally detain one accused of unusualness. 

BORE, n. a person who talks when you wish him to listen.

DEFAME, v.t. To lie about another. To tell the truth about another.

EGOTIST, n. a person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me. (Hahaha!)

FAIRY, n. A creature, variously fashioned and endowed, that formerly inhabited the meadows and forests. It was nocturnal in its habits and somewhat addicted to dancing and the theft of children. (This is a bonus definition, because fairies.)

GRAVE, n. a place where the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

HERMIT, n. a person whose vices and follies are not sociable.

LAWYER, n. one skilled in the circumvention of the law.

NOVEL, n. a short story padded.

OPPOSE, v. to assist with obstructions and objections.

PENITENT, v. undergoing or awaiting punishment.

PHYSICIAN, n. one who we set our hopes upon when ill, and our dogs when well.

PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by pressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.




SELFISH, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

LOGIC, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations of human misunderstanding.

LAUGHTER, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious, and, though intermittent, incurable.

RATIONAL, n. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.

RESOLUTE, n. obstinate in a course that we approve.

. . .

Were those funny or WHAT.


Fine, whatever, BYEEEE.

(Also, Claire, Katherine, Emma and I are unveiling the pyootiful, pyootiful website for The Cabinet of Curiosities today!!! Tell me what you think? :D Also-also, our international giveaways for 4 Prize Packs still running another day or two, and you can enter that if you so please.)

9 comments:

  1. you are invited to follow my blog

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aaaaahhahahaha. *pokes at comment above*

    Also Website is PRETTY. :D I approve.

    Also I know, those are basically all the good quotes from TDD. The rest is hmmmmm.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! Ha. I think the spambot may be concerned...

      And ISN'T IT?

      And I agree, I don't recommend it all the way. But where it's not being racist and mean and 19th century-y it's pretty ok.

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. Mr. Bierce was very clever about some things. xD

      Delete
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  5. I liked EGOTIST and GRAVE. Those two were great.
    Also, the website looks amazing! I'm going to look around it better when I have more time.

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    Replies
    1. Agreed, egotist is my favorite. Also, cool, I hope you like our stories! :D

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