Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The Cynic's Word Book

Hi, peoples. :) So, about two years ago, my sister gave me a book for Christmas called The Devil's Dictionary, you know, for cheery holiday reading, and because I'm a grateful sort of person I read it last week, and mah wrrrrd. It's funny. And scathing. And also kind of bitter and bad and misanthropic at times, but it had its beginnings as an 1881 newspaper serial and folk had PROBLEMS then.

It's basically a satirical take on English words and Western civilization, and I like satire quite a lot. I like that while it might not be funny to everyone, or to me, it doesn't really care. It's supposed to make you think.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the dictionary:

ADORE, v.t. to venerate expectantly.

ARREST, v.t. to formally detain one accused of unusualness. 

BORE, n. a person who talks when you wish him to listen.

DEFAME, v.t. To lie about another. To tell the truth about another.

EGOTIST, n. a person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me. (Hahaha!)

FAIRY, n. A creature, variously fashioned and endowed, that formerly inhabited the meadows and forests. It was nocturnal in its habits and somewhat addicted to dancing and the theft of children. (This is a bonus definition, because fairies.)

GRAVE, n. a place where the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

HERMIT, n. a person whose vices and follies are not sociable.

LAWYER, n. one skilled in the circumvention of the law.

NOVEL, n. a short story padded.

OPPOSE, v. to assist with obstructions and objections.

PENITENT, v. undergoing or awaiting punishment.

PHYSICIAN, n. one who we set our hopes upon when ill, and our dogs when well.

PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by pressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

SELFISH, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

LOGIC, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations of human misunderstanding.

LAUGHTER, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious, and, though intermittent, incurable.

RATIONAL, n. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.

RESOLUTE, n. obstinate in a course that we approve.

. . .

Were those funny or WHAT.

Fine, whatever, BYEEEE.

(Also, Claire, Katherine, Emma and I are unveiling the pyootiful, pyootiful website for The Cabinet of Curiosities today!!! Tell me what you think? :D Also-also, our international giveaways for 4 Prize Packs still running another day or two, and you can enter that if you so please.)

Friday, May 24, 2013

1/4th of a 3rd Book Deal!!!


Sorry. But look. From PW:

It's going to be illustrated by Alexander Jansson, who I'm sure you'll agree is kind of amazing. It's going to be edited by Virginia, who edited my other books, and who I'm sure you'll also agree is kind of amazing.

The pre-edited stories will still be readable on the blog, and we'll keep posting one new creepy story every week FOREVER (or at least for the foreseeable future), and we also have some cool stuff planned like a massive giveaway and a supah fanceh website, and such, so you should go check us oooout and subscriiiiibe and I hope you like our stories! :)

Anyway, super excited and have all the thank you's to say to the four agents and Greenwillow/HC people and to Claire and Katherine and Emma who are awesome and nice and great writers. We shall have many adventures, and I'm happy and lucky to be working with so many cool people.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Scotland Adventure!

So, I only had a phone camera with me in London, and thus have no pictures of riding the London Eye, or of visiting the Tower of London with Taryn, or of eating a ridiculously giant hamburger at Garfunkel's, or of the two girls in pink dragon pajamas chillaxing on Leicester Square. Which is SAD. But I met up with my older brother and cousin after London, and Brother had a new camera and was snapping photos all over the place, and I stole them, so woo.

Also, I passed my tests! :D I'm in the film music program, going to be a student for a while longer. Really happy about that. Thank you, faculty, for deeming me worthy.

ANYWAY, pictures:

Big Ben. The person in the hoody up front is named Barnabas, and Barnabas is very serious.
Actually, I don't know who the person in the hoody is. . .

The coolest lampposts OF ALL TIME. Look at that crazy fish.

I like how politely the signs warn you of your possible death.

We were at Buckingham Palace just in time for a parade by the British marine veterans.

Castle in Yorkshire. Secretly a Best Western hotel. We had a room in that round tower and ate Chinese take-out while watching the worst Schwarzenegger movie ever made, ya know, AS one does when in a castle in Yorkshire.

This is Hadrian's Wall. Brother had us pose: Cousin was supposed to be the fearsome Scotch, and I was supposed to be the frightened Englishman, except I look a bit skeptical of the Scotch's efforts.

The Sea, the Sea.

Edinburghhhhh. I love this city so much. It's right up there with Prague now, I think.
Also, people are all like, "You aw 'ight?" by way of greeting, which always made me like, "Ummm, I thought so, but now I'm no longer sure."

More Edinburghhhh. All the buildings are very sooty, which makes it feel historically accurate.

The Edinburgh Dungeon. It's basically a spook house; they herd you past historically-garbed actors and sets and tell you creepy stories, and you get to ride a boat in pitch-darkness. It's mostly interesting, sometimes funny, except at one point there was a mock witch trial and the judge pulled a certain Lesley from San Francisco out of the audience to stand in for the witch, and called on the other visitors to boo her, which almost everyone did with great gusto. I thought that was mean and unfunny and crowd mentality at its lamest, and did not approve, so there.

I didn't have 30 pounnnnnd with me, so alas I will never have a lord and lady title.

I thought this said "Cafè Nerd".

So, if you're a really, really good writer, people will build a 300 ft. monument in the middle of Edinburgh after you die. (This is the Sir Walter Scott monument.)

We climbed said monument. Looked down. Watched folk unrolling a lawn.

This cheery little shop is where you supply yourself with ELEPHANTS and BAGELS! :D Apparently.
At the top of this hill called The Law somewhere in Scotland. It was so windy. You could literally lean straight forward, and the wind would hold you up.

The view from our hotel room in a little town, in the middle of a dark wood, somewhere in Scotland. According to the concierge, Queen Victoria stayed in the room next to ours. Wikipedia says he DOES NOT LIE.

Cool avenue leading up to a big manor that we didn't go inside, because we're cheap.


We were on this creepy gravel road after ignoring fifty bajillion "Do-not-drive-on-this-road-or-we-will-shoot-you-with-cannons" signs, and we were being total illegal rebels and peering into the deep, dense woods and wondering if cannibals lived there. Annnd yeah, that's the story behind this picture.

Favorite food discoveries:

Tea Cakes

You can get things *like* this in the US and Switzerland, but the UK ones have some sort of cookie base and they're amazinnnnngah.

Candy Bar Milk
This is basically a candy bar in a bottle. It's super healthy. xD I got the Snickers version, but was dumb and didn't take a picture, so all I can show you is the Mars stuff.


Mmmm, don't those look delicious? . . . No. And now that I've googled them I'm a little bit grossed out. Seriously, look at the one at the top-center and tell me that isn't the most disgusting thing you've ever seen. But I had them in a garlic lemon pasta above a pub in Edinburgh and they were the best.

And that was that! I had a great trip. Really happy I got to go. Next place on my list of places to visit is Versailles and Venice. Hopefully this summer sometime.

Bye. :)

Thursday, May 2, 2013


I finished my tests! You know the tests? These one's I have been whining about on twitter and on the blog and irl? They went well overall I think. Everyone was nice. The other candidates were nice. I knew most of the things. Except I kind of flubbed playing the f-sharp minor cadence during oral theory, so afterwards I was like:

And then during the admission discussion, when asked where I'm going to be in ten years, I was like, "I have no idea where I'm going to be in ten years. . . " which is like the wrongest of wrong answers. But I don't even know where I want to be now, let alone in a decade. Whatever. Honesty is rarely an immediately helpful trait in human relations.

Anyway, WE SHALL SEE. :D I'll hear whether I can continue music-y things in a week or two. In the meantime, The Whatnot is being made into ARCs, and I'm road-tripping in Merry England with Taryn Albright and my older brother, and I so excited. I hope you guys are having a grand time.

Bye. :)