Tuesday, February 28, 2012


So I had just typed up a loooooong post involving a party, and punch, and some music-student toomfoolery that happened a few months ago, and then I got all paranoid about it and decided it was NSFA, and NSFB, and just generally NS, so that was the end of that.

There will be no post about parties, punch, and music-student tomfoolery. Ever.

But all that had nothing to do with anything, because this post is about faerypunk.



I explain.

It's faerys + steampunk, and it should be the next big thing. I'm not biased at all, mind you. At all. Faerypunk is simply awesome. Clock-tech and such-like are cool by themselves, but juxtaposed with creepy-crawly-misty-shady faery lore, they are positively arctic. Also, it makes total sense, because, like, after wizard boarding-schools, vampires, and teenagers killing themselves and each other, SHOULD COME FAERYPUNK.


I think so.

Anyway, a whole row of interesting and exciting faerypunk books are coming out over the next twelve months, one of which is miiiiine. Had I known that clever people were writing faerypunk books at the same time as me, I would probably have despaired and written something else, but at the time I was still like, "Oho, I am being very original," so all was well.

Now I'm just like, "Well, these books were written by different people, and thus will be awesome in their own different ways, ergo it doesn't matter that they all have steampunk and faerys in them."

Because I'm pretty sure if you gave two writers the exact same story outline and told them to write their fingers off, the two books resulting would not really be at all the same.

Below are the faerypunkerz books I found while scouring the internets, and they really do look awesome. When they find their way to Zürich's English bookshop, I shall snatch them.

Goblin Secrets by William Alexander - His book comes out in March, so he beat us all DEAD. The cover art has a real purty colour scheme goin' on, and the book has Baba Yaga, and clockwork, and goblins, and traveling theater, and sounds just grand.

Innocent Darkness by Suzanne Lazear - It's out in August, so we'll all just have to wait in abject agony for months and months and months for our next faerypunk fix. It's YA, I think, and features a dreadful boarding school, and visits to the Otherworld, and human sacrifices, and yeah!

The Peculiar by Stefan Bachmann - MAH BOOK. *runs around* It has a release date now, by the way. I just found this out, along with some other interesting stuff that I'm not sure I'm allowed to squawk about yet. Anyway, September 18, HarperCollins is going to be throwing this book at people's FACES. So that makes me feel legit.

stitch throws book

Ironskin by Tina Connolly - Great title, no? The book comes out in October. And the synopsis intrigues me: A steampunk-fantasy retelling of Jane Eyre. I didn't particularly like Jane Eyre when I read it, but Bronte forgot to put wars and steampunk and THE PLAGUE in her version.

The Falconer by Elizabeth May - Comes out in 2013, and is also YA. More faerys and steampunk, but in Scotland, and on Goodreads it says the faerys are monstrous, which strikes me as awesome, because that's the way faerys should be.

And that's faerypunk! Also, I just recalled - I'm going to Ascona at the end of this week and will be utterly cut off from the world for TWO DAYS. So don't text me, you Europeans, for I will be very busy swimming in my grandparents' pool until I shrivel into a prune.

Bye. :)

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Trailer Tuesday #5: Abraham Lincoln - Vampire Hunter

Just a short one, because I have no rehearsals, and no concerts, and no revisions, and thus must raht storiesss.

Anyway, the title says it all. Unfortunately the trailer says nothing, except that Abraham Lincoln is going around in a top-hat kicking vampire be-HINDS.

Well, isn't zat enog-huh? O_o


Visually, it's very arresting though.

Also... Tim Burton.

I gots mah hat, and mah comfy chair, and MAH AXE. I'm so set. 

And? Were you visually arrested? :)

Friday, February 17, 2012

Glumday Discoveries

Remember that last blog post? The blaaaah one? Why yes, I am in jolly mood today, thank you. Many random youtube videos, and book pages, and texting prophecies of doom to my friends later, and all's once again well with the world.

I won't tell you why that day was blah. It's too embarrassing.

Just kidding.

About not telling you. Nothing's too embarrassing to be disseminated on the internet for the whole wide world to see. Nothing.

The reason hoo-eyyy is that I missed my first conservatory class of the morning because I slept too long.

I know, isn't that shocken' 'orrid? And then my phone rang and woke me up, and I was like, "Jaaa..." and Ridiculously Important Conservatory Teacher was like, "YOU HAD CLASS TEN MINUTES AGO, YO."

I died. Just, died. These things do not happen to time-budgeting, list-making, agenda-keeping little Stefan.

Anyway, during the subsequent bout of end-of-the-world melancholia (I missed a class. It's the end of the woooooooorrrrrrrrrlllllllldddddd...) I trolled the internetz looking for dreary, mean-spirited, and potentially cheery-uppy things, and found these!

The Gashleycrumb Tinies - possibly bad-taste, or politically incorrect, or something, but whatevs.

And then down the alphabet a ways...

Zillah's like... two. And she drank too much gin. That's not really funny, but it kind of is.

'Bad Day' - it gets old pretty quick. I thought the first bit was hilarious, though.

'Little Talks' - it's Icelandic indie music. I searched out the song on iTunes simply so that it could remind of the video. Because the video is weird and trippy, which means, of course, that it is awesome. 

 Also, I lol'd when the ginormous crow said, 'Hey'.

'The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr Morris Lessmore' - here's the cheery-uppy one. It's one of the oscar-noms for best animated short. If you like books, and the Slightly Saccharine™, Humpty-Dumpty, and pretty music, it will warm the halls and passageways of your stone-cold heart. 

It's fifteen minutes long, though, so if you don't like books, and the Slightly Saccharine™, Humpty-Dumpty, and pretty music, it will leave the halls and passageways of your stone-cold heart full of leetle tiny people weeping and gnashing their teeth, and wishing they hadn't spent fifteen minutes watching a short film full of books, and the Slightly Saccharine™, Humpty-Dumpty, and pretty music.

Pixar short 'La Luna' is also nommed, BUT I CAN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE TO WATCH. I'm assuming I want it to win though. By default, dontchaknow.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

People in Boxes

Yeah, that pretty much sums up my mood for today. If this post is a little bit blah, you have been warned by a half-page-large Jpeg.

Anyway, I'm going to write about people in boxes. Yaaaaaay... 

First the history - I live in a very old house. I've lived in this very old house for as long as I can remember. When my family moved into this very old house it had been empty for twenty years. The very old lady who lived in this very old house those twenty years ago left us jars of jam. Which is icky. We didn't eat them.

We ungrateful wretches, we.

It was a good place to kinda-sorta pretend you were growing up. It was full of old junk - which has subsequently been replaced by new junk - and I remember there was an oblong box with a padlock on it in one shadowy corner of the horse-barn, and my siblings and I were convinced it contained a corpse.

(Because oblong boxes locked with padlocks always, alwayyyys contain something horrific. - Rule #6 of childhood.)

The box is still sitting in its shadowy corner of the horse-barn, and to this day I don't what's in it.

However! This post is not about dead people in boxes, but dead people in picture-frame-box-like-THINGYS. You see, my Dad found an an old photograph in the attic and I wanted to share it with y'allzez. Because old photographs are intriguing. They just are. Whenever I see one I get all stalker-ish, and am like, "Who-was-this-person-and-what-did-they-do-after-the-picture-was-taken-and-what-did-they-say-and-what-did-they-go-home-to-and-I-must-KNOW-these-things."

Most likely the answers are boring, possibly they are not, and the intriguing thing is that we never will know.

So here it is, dum-da-dum, never-before-seen, antique photoGRAPH!

He looks rather proud in his plumed helmet, does he not?

There's no name or date on the picture. The words in the corner are the name of the 'photographic art studio' it was taken at. I thought the Ad. Schoder might be an abbreviation of 'Admiral', but... admirals are on boats. And Switzerland doesn't really have... an impressive... naval presence. Because... It's like...

Because it's a landlocked country. 

Nobody seems to get that joke. I used to kid about joining the Swiss navy, and people would just be like 'Sweeeeet'.

Also, does anyone know when that uniform is from? I'm fairly certain it predates WWI. Maybe the Franco-Prussian War. Which would mean the 1870's. Which would mean this photo is... *counts on fingers* ...ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY YEARS OLD.  


End blah-ness. Need to go out into the cold, cold world and buy orange marmalade. Bye.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

So This Tram ATE ME

A Zürich tram - Look at its angry eyes. They are angry tram-eat-people eyes.
There I was mindin' mah own business, on my way to the conservatory in skinny jeans and a pea-coat because it's earth-shatteringly cold here and skinny jeans and a pea-coat is simply what pretentiously artsy music students wear in earth-shatteringly cold weather... and a tram door closes on me.

A tram door.

It closes.

On me.

And I was thinking, "Surely the tram door will stop before squishing me. I mean, technology? Hello? Not to mention laws. There must be laws against tram doors squishing peopleaaaah."


Or there might not be.

I was rescued by an iPod-listening student, and I since I was listening to my iPod as well, we stared dumbly at one another and then gibbered back and forth something that I'm fairly certain neither of us understood.

Good ol' human-to-human communication, you know?

Anyway, someone should  pass a law against tram doors squishing people. Seriously. What do we pay these people for.

I should probably wave my sarcasm sign at this point. Just in case. *waves sarcasm sign*

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Trailer Tuesday #4: Scary British Movies

Oho, because I am UNSPEAKABLY EVIL I lied about posting twice last week. I'm sorry. Really. Things came up. Lots of things. I had a concert. And rehearsals. ALL WEEKEND.

But there's always Trailer Tuesday, right? Forgiven? Pleath?

This Trailer Tuesday is about scary movies. I like scary movies. Not bloody movies, mind you, or gory movies, or pointlessly grisly movies. Anything having to do with dismemberment, skin punctures, and/or noisy bone-breaking is not for me. (Especially finger-breaking. Broken fingers make me ill.)

However, movies about haunted houses, haunted eyes, more haunted eyes, haunted video-tapes, haunted phones, haunted shoes, haunted hair extensions, haunted washing-machines, haunted cellos, and HAUNTED TOOTHPICKS, are totally for me. I assume. I've only ever seen the haunted house/eyes/video-tape ones. And I don't know if there are any movies about haunted toothpicks, but if there aren't someone should make one, because the possibilities are endless and terrifying.

Two Scary British Movies (I suggest we give them the startlingly catchy acronym SCBRMO) are coming out soon in far-off Switzerland and I want to see them. They're historical, and have ghosts, and creepy goings-ons, and muted colour pallets, and... just... all the good stuff.

The one I want to watch more is the teeny-bit generically-titled The Awakening:

Um, there's an arrow on mah face. Make it go, please.

Looks jolly, no? Rebecca Hall plays in it. I think she's great. She also plays in Christopher Nolan's The Prestige. Which is great. She plays the sole sympathetic character in that movie. Which is not so great. Because do you know what happens to her?

Spoiler:SHE DIES A HORRIBLE TRAGIC DEATH. That's what happens to goody-goodies.

See what I did there? With the black? And it's like invisible and stuff? Tricksy.

Anyway, creepy boarding school in the 1920's strikes me as a rather original setting. Also, the image of the person in the corridor with the rifle has been burnt into the back of my mind since watching. It intrigues me. "Why is this person wearing tux? And standing?! In a corridor!?? With a RIFLE!!! Must watch."

The next SCBRMO is The Woman in Black. I don't know how famous this material is in the US, but in England especially, it's a rather a part of culture. First it was a book, and then a stage play that has been running in London's West End for about a thousand years now, and seriously... have you ever seen a frightening stage play? I think the answer to that question is no.

This SCBRMO does look a notch lower on the sophistication scale, but... I thought The Village was brilliant, so you can ignore my sophistication scale if it you want to.

Ooh, somebody found pennies! 
*winks at the four people in the known universe who will get that joke*