Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Trailer Tuesday 2#: The Raven

Trailer Tuesday is two Tuesdays awld! Woo-ee. It's the thing where every Tuesday I pick a trailer that caught my attention and show it off. I cheated this week and wrote the post wayyyy in advance because I knew I'd be doing other stuff this vacation. Like whipping my manuscript into shape.

Anyway... here 'tis. The Raven:

It's Edgar Allen Poe. Sort of. It's a mish-mash of his stories with him as the main character.

The good? There are way too few movies featuring his writing. Which is criminal because he's only like the most original Victorian author in the history of ever.

The bad? It looks kinda hokey. Like a 19th century SAW. Even though I doubt there'll be a The Raven PART 17 coming out in a few years like there will be a SAW flick. I wish someone would make a really great Gothic movie that's perhaps not total horror schlock like that Van Helsing movie was. I liked that Van Helsing movie, mind you. *gasps all around* But it was schlock. A big fat bowl of green slimy schlock and vampire babies.

So. Excitement factor for this one: Not freakoutable-making. Probably won't watch.

.          .           .

And since that was really boring, this Trailer Tuesday comes with a bonus feature: Look what certain kind folk brought back from Salzburg for me!


Aaaaaah luv eht. It sits on my editing and goggles at me, and it makes me feel sane.

*There was an old Mozart who swallowed a violin. I don't why he swallowed a violin. Perhaps he'll die.
There was an old Mozart who swallowed a piece of sheet music. I don't know why he swallowed a piece of sheet music. Perhaps he'll die.
There was an old Mozart who swallowed a snow globe. He's dead, of course.  He asphyxiated and now looks perpetually jolly and cross-eyed! Yaaaaaaaay...

And that'll only make sense if you've read this loverly  rhyme once or twice in your life. It's like the best one ever.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Graphic Violence

This post is not ok for children under fourty-two.

It snowed.

Oh yeah.

And I had a post all planned out about snow, and snow, and people in snow, and horses in snow, and lots of pictures of snow, and then the snow melted.

Like that. *snaps fingers*

So we're having a green Christmas. Again.


I do have one bit of news though: I got my first editorial letterrrr! It's huge, and frightening, and exceedingly wise.

This'll be me over the next two weeks.


Merry Christmas!!! :D

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Trailer Tuesday #1: Chronicle

I have decided, dum-da-dum-dum, that after failing miserably to keep my own blogging schedule last week, I should come up with a fail-proof way to get regular content up heah. So I did. And here it is: Once a week I'll post a trailer I've seen recently, that perhaps you have not seen, and give my two cents on it.

If I were smart I'd talk about books instead of movies, but a lot of people already do, and I like movies, and I never claimed to be the brightest star in the sky, and even if I rarely get around to watching any of these movies, the trailers have all the good bits anyway. :)

(Note: There'll still be random weekly posts about whatever's going on in my life, and about books, and music, but they'll just pop up whatever day I get around to them. That way I can't be late.)

Trailer the First iiiiis... "Chronicle"!

Watch, watch. Blogger makes it tiny, so just hit the box if you want to embiggen on Youtube.

Looks pretty interesting, no? It's like a mumblecore superhero movie. I'll admit I never would have stumbled across this myself. The mighty film co-agent who is peddling my book to Hollywood mentioned it over the phone. She was talking about the many glamorous people who make up the skin-and-bones of her job (apparently her agency reps Johnny Depp), and me being somewhat star-struck, ran and looked them all up afterwards. (Not Johnny Depp. I knew who he was. Because he's famous and stuff.) The director of "Chronicle" was one of the peoples she mentioned, and so I watched the trailer, annnnd it was cool.

Found-footage has been done to death. So have superheroes. But both at the same time is fresher than most things out these days. Also, the concept of kids with awesome powers, yet not a streak of hero-tude or responsibility, makes for a rather intriguingly disturbing premise, dontcha find?

Excitement level: want to watch.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

The Hunger Games (It's Like Survivor for Psychos)

Katniss: LaLaLaLa.
Effie Trinket: Isn't she just maaahvellous? *smirky smirk*

I finished it! It was very thrilling. But the second half got mushy. And the whole thing struck me as weirdly light and fluffy for being about murder-for-entertainment. There were some passing remarks about superficiality and rebelling against the authority, but I guess with all the hype, I was expecting something deep and thought-provoking. I dunno. It's not like it wasn't tragic. And violent. Maybe it just seemed light and fluffy because I was in a light and fluffy mood while reading it. Being in a pity-me mood always makes books so much more dire.

But it was great for what it was, which is a lightning-paced, incredibly intriguing dystopia. Definitely stayed up way too late reading it. And I ran and bought the sequel as soon as I was done, even though... hmm... I'm kind of afraid it can't be as good as the first. The main charm of THG for me was the arena, and these very different kids being pitted against each other in a fight for survival, and the fact that every waking second CATO MIGHT KILL YOU. Like I said: charm. I don't know how compelling it will be once the characters go their merry ways.

We shall see.

Three things I feel obligated to comment on:

- on page 4, Katniss pulls on her boots first and then her pants? Ummm... ok. I've tried that and it never ends well.

- Peeta's name. I mean, I get that he's a sonova baker, but naming him after bread? Suzanne Collins was probably like, "Hmmmm, I could call him Muffin or Taco or Danish Pastry, or... OMG... Pita!!! It's like Peter just Pee-tah, and then I shall spell it like Peeta and ooh my I'm very brilliant."

- The last third. The part where Peeta and Katniss are >:O *SPOILER* >:O lolling in a cave and being fed lamb stew from silver parachutes. And Katniss is madly in love. And then after they win, and they're on the train home she's just like, "Ah's jez messin' witchoooooo."


Disclaimer: Stefan Bachmann can not be held accountable to rabid fangirls for any statements made on this blog, nor does he mean any disrespect whatsoever to Suzanne Collins, who he actually does think is very brilliant. He's just a brat. If he ever meets her he will be like, "I think Peeta's a GREAT NAME."

Tuesday, December 6, 2011


This week I:

- ate gold-plated chocolate.

- figured out how use iTunes. Clever,  clever!

-  had an interesting experience involving a dog in night-time.

So there was this kid, see, maybe four years old, walking past our creaky old house one evening. And lying in front of Creaky Old House was our doggy Retta.

See? Doggy Retta.

Perhaps not the most intimidating creature on the planet.

Doggy Retta is pretty much afraid of everything except things that are afraid of her. So things like snails and newborn kittens. And certain children. Like this kid. She spotted him, he spotted her. She sensed he was terrified of her. And no doubt thinking this was an opportunity not to be missed, she started barking up a storm.

The kid screeched, "YOUR DOG IS A COWWW!"


Nooooooo. Why is my dog a cow? I distinctly remember bringing a puppy back from that farm in that valley by that river. How could this happpennnn... * distress*

The kid actually said something else, in some foreign language I don't understand, and the mom had to explain this to me patiently after I lol'd at the expense of her poor barked-at kid. But I liked the first explanation better.

And speaking of cows - I got pictures with some. Because my editor asked for informal 'Swiss' photos of me, and what could possibly be more Swiss than cows I ask you? To which you reply, "Why, nothing, of course! Switzerland invented cows". To which I nod sagely and put on a pair of sunglasses.

So. Cows being in the field, my mom and I sidled up stealthily and took pictures.

This is me being stealthy.

Note how The Cow is totally not looking in my direction. In fact, it's clearly completely oblivious to my very existence.

This picture wasn't sent to my editor, BTW. I thought you should know.